Susan Alexander - The Rant

Susan’s Rant – Week of April 1st

Fountain of Youth

Many young men have been flirting with me. My parole officer told me to check their ID’s first and stop giving them Mary Kay Letourneau candy, chocolate covered rufees.

‘Officer, he did not have sex with me like he was sixteen, he was much better than his father.’ I said.
Seriously, my age minimum is twenty-one years old and the maximum is forty-five years old. Yes, I do have a fear of ‘accidentally’ dating a father and son. Now I make sure to get their last names before we date.

Let me just say that women need to date younger men to broaden the choices from time to time. Women who date men in their thirties pretty much date a rotation of the same types of guys. Basically, think of the 'singles' table at any wedding reception: divorced bitter men, alcoholics, Trekkies (wearing his Dr. Spock ears) and the guy still living with his mother.

I always seem to attract the youngest and smallest guys out there. They are usually in their early twenties and weigh about 110 lbs. I can fit one on the right and left side of me. So, it looks like I’m walking my date aka little beyetch (bitch in white). I asked my mother why I attract these younger men.

‘Mommy thinks they want protection or want to trick you into one night stand.’ My mother said.

‘But Mom, I trick the man.’ I said.

‘Oh my God, I always knew you Good Time Girl, nobody ever going to marry Good Time Girl.’ My mother said.

‘Yeah, they will, for their Green Card.’ I said.

When I went to the women’s sanctuary, the nail salon, a very charming Southern lady gave me her input about dating younger men.

‘My husband is fifty years old and he still acts like he is fifteen. Darling, it’s both people’s responsibility to keep the relationship fresh and new. Age has nothing to do with it.’ She said.

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