Susan Alexander - The Rant

Susan’s Rant – Week of November 1st

Jury Duty

The great equalizer of Americans is not death or taxes, but Jury Duty. In one day, US citizens from different ethnic and social backgrounds meet in one room for eight hours with the same goal, to be excused. I was able to serve my time and not be on an actual jury. This bothered me, since I was anxious to tell them about my occupation.

‘I am cult leader of large breasted women who follow me around and chant kill whitee.’

On the positive side, Jury Duty is the adult version of ‘snow day’ because for most people they receive some paid days off from work or freedom from daily overbooked schedules. Allow me to explain to some of those people (mostly to the Californians who elected the ‘Terminator’ as governor) out there that have never experienced a ‘snow day.’ In most Midwest and Northeastern states (i.e. my home state of Pennsylvania) during the winter, if on one day there was more than 3 inches of snow on the ground then schools would either be delayed or closed. We always hoped for school closings and thanked God for this ‘pre’ or ‘post’ Christmas gift. Yes, there was a time when we were allowed to say thanks to God in and out of school freely with no judgment. Not only did the Christians thank God, but we allowed the two Jewish kids (out of 800 high school students) to thank their God.

That was back in the day when everyone got along so well before Mel Gibson created his two hour S&M torture film of the Jews, excuse me, the ‘Romans’ killing Jesus.

We are blessed to be in a country where we are judged by 12 of our own peers. As I started to look around the room, I wondered if I did get in a trial how would 12 people agree on a verdict. I think it is a challenge to get five of my friends to decide on a bar to go to on a Saturday night. Then I realized that is why 12 strangers are chosen to be on a jury and why friends should never serve together. This also gives me time to meet single guys during daylight hours.

The real amazement to me about the juror pool was that we were all from different ethnic groups and EVERYONE was reading some form of literature. Wow, I always thought only Asians could read.

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