Get caught up on the Real Housewives and laugh at the same time. For only $6.50, receive an ebook (PDF format) of a hilarious compilation of Susan Alexander tweets from the 2012 season of each episode for Real Housewives of Orange County (Season 7), Real Housewives of New Jersey (Season 4) and Real Housewives of New York (Season 5) . Below are just a few of my tweets that have been featured on Bravo TV for each show.
To purchase, click on this link Buy Now and include email address. Allow for 24 hours to receive ebook.
Funny Females Susan Alexander and Sandy Stec at San Francisco's
most popular comedy work out room called The Brainwash with Tony Sparks
every Thursday night. Special thanks to Charlie Ballard and Dave Medina
for filming the video.
September 2009 Singles Who Mingles Debuts in New York City
I am very excited to be hosting my Singles Who Mingle show to New
York City at the legendary Gotham Comedy Club on Wednesday, September
30th. The first part of the show features a variety of comedians from
TV, festivals and national tours. Then the comedians will mingle and
break the ice with the singles in the audience turning the show into
a fun singles mixer.
Below are the featured comedians on the line-up:
Susan Alexander - Host of Singles Who Mingle Dana Lovecchio - 5 Funny Females Tour Jessimae Peluso - Boston Comedy Festival Stone and Stone - NBC's Last Comic Standing
Singles Who Mingle Hosted by Susan Alexander
Laugh. Mingle. Have Fun.
Location: Gotham Comedy Club
Address: 208 West 23rd Street , NY , NY 10011
Date/Time: Wednesday, September 30th @ 8 PM (arrive by 7:30 PM)
Very proud to be debuting my first 5 Funny Females merchandise
which are these awesome navy blue, soft brushed cloth hats that fit everyone!
5 Funny Females Cap!
Funny Females Sold Out Show in Dracut, MA on 4.4.09 and New 5 Funny
Females Hats! Left to Right: Chantal
Carrere, Susan Alexander, Andrea Henry, Maria Ciampa & Bethany Van
5 Funny Females Hats are available for purchase after each show
and also online by emailing email@example.com for more details.
1 Hat = $15
2 Hats = $20
(plus standard shipping & handling)
ONE SIZE FITS ALL February 2009 Going Back to Cali
Going back to California for my West Coast shows in February. See you
at one of the shows.
LOS ANGELES - February 26th
Please call 323-856-0036 for reservations for 5 Funny Females on Feb.
IFC's Mary Van Note for 5 Funny Females @ MBar Hollywood
SAN FRANCISCO - February 27th and 28th
Please email to reserve seats @ firstname.lastname@example.org for Feb. 27th & 28th
shows. January 2009 Year in Review
Such a fun and exciting 2008. This year represents my fifth year in stand-up
comedy and I have had a few great experiences in 2008.
Going on three (3) years, I have been able to continue my packed and fun 5 Funny
Females shows which has toured over 12 US cities to date. My 2008 shows included
NYC, New England, Boston, Chicago and of course where I started comedy in San
Francisco. 5 Funny Females also brought forth offspring shows like 5 Funny Fags
(love the gay boys) and 5 Funny Friends (mix of everyone funny) then 2009 will
have 5 Funny Filipinos. Yes, I love to alliterate those FFFs. The October San
Francisco shows were filmed by Rooftop Comedy and clips can be viewed at http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/events/5funnyfemales.
This past summer I was selected as a semi-finalist in the Friars Club: So You
Think You Can Roast? contest and was honored to be able to roast George Takei
(Sulu from Star Trek). Take
a look at the clip. I appreciated everyone’s votes and support for
this contest. Even though I did not win, I did get invited to the Friars Club
Matt Laurer which was awesome. The most surreal part was seeing Tom Cruise LIVE
roasting Matt at the beginning of the show. No matter how Scientology couch jumping
crazy he is, he was hot in person.
It seems that 2008 created some really cool press coverage for me. At the beginning
of 2008, I was interviewed in the Boston Globe and featured in the Boston Phoenix
with press coverage across the country. To end the year, I was featured as comic
of the week in Time Out New York. Click
here to view the PDF. There will be some fun interviews published in January
and February 2009. Check back on my website for more press clippings in 2009.
Most importantly, I want to give a special thanks to everyone who has supported
me in stand-up comedy to coffee houses to the Friars Club. Please keep coming
out to support my LIVE shows this year.
2008 Little Escapes
Changing seasons and lots of celebrating are just some of the reasons
I love November. Most importantly, November is my birthday month and also
it is Veterans Day which has become special to me since my father who served
20 years in the military passed away.
After college, I moved to New York City and came home one summer
in 1997, he finally told me of his time in Vietnam.
You took a shower and you were still covered
with sweat. That’s
how hot the jungle was in Vietnam.” my military dad informs me
while drinking his light beer.
I was around military men the first
10 years of my life and always noticed they drank beer. Then they
switched to light beer to stay fit and also to be able to drink all
day. My dad would have a couple of beers on the weekends on his ‘walks’ to
escape my mother. Realizing that my parents stayed married for so
long because they had little ‘escapes’ from
My dad was lucky that he did not have Vietnam ‘hear
the choppers coming for you’ type flashbacks since he created his
little escapes from the war and my mom.
Little escapes have become
a form of relaxation for me. Because the computer more like facebook
has become an addiction I need to have little escapes in the real
world. My dad has his bars (which I still enjoy) and I go to the nail
salon for my manicure/pedicure escape. The salon I go to has the latest
magazines but most importantly they carry The Globe. The Globe is almost
as good as my National Enquirer the original gossip tabloid that is 90%
I escape relaxing having either a Korean or Hispanic lady working
on my feet. On the West Coast in San Francisco, I prefer my Vietnamese
manicurist Jenny at Trio Nails and gives the best manicures and also
introduce me to Vietnamese food. In New York City, I have found a
couple of nice places not the same but they do a good job. The vibrating
chairs and the whirlpool at my feet make me feel like I have escape
into my own oasis for a couple of hours.
To complete the escape, I
will take a look at the National Enquirer at the local grocery store
and I will only buy if my horoscope is positive.
AUGUST 2008 Crackling Chicken
‘Crackling Chicken on the bone’ is the first phrase out
of my mouth when I return to New York City from the road. In New York
City, there are these amazing inexpensive take-out places in the city
that are half Cuban/half Chinese. It is a must to order Crackling Chicken
on the bone and not white meat to enjoy this inexpensive heart attack
food. The way to make this meal semi-balanced is to get the Avocado salad
to complement this juicy and tasty chicken.
The chicken, most likely neighborhood pigeon or cat, used for Crackling
is seasoned in spicy batter then deep fried.
Crackling Chicken is a treat for me, since most food at comedy clubs
make the 7-Elevens and Qwickie Marts food selection look gourmet.
As one can imagine, the food at most comedy clubs have more are saltier
than in the Dead Sea.
Let me set the scene at the food preparation of food at most comedy
clubs. Waitresses at these clubs are working hard and have to multi-task
on weeknights and be bartenders/cooks. While they are taking drink orders,
ignoring sexual advances from customers, they have to microwave the chicken
wings or if the club is exotic, jalapeño poppers. There is a science
to microwaving but not going happen at the club. From my college days,
I learned the best way to microwave is to cover the food with Saran Wrap
then put it in microwave. The waitress grabs the wings or poppers from
a Costco sized frozen bag and puts a handful on the paper plate. The
she proceeds to microwave the food for 90 seconds no matter what type
of food. Almost 99% of the time the food is usually half super hot then
the other half cold.
Of course that never stopped me from eating the food because I do love
wings. I would just add Tabasco sauce to spice up the cold half.
This year, I am grateful to be performing at venues with my 5 Funny
Females Tour serve amazing food. We even have had the shows catered with
Sushi Rolls to Mediterranean dishes. That is great for the audience but
for the comedians who are performing, we usually eat after the show which
means cold food anyways.
From my five years in stand-up comedy, it seems that the bigger the
venue (think theaters and Madison Square Garden) you get to perform in
the less food is served. I want my audience to be starving so I can fill
them up with laughs.
Then we can all go out after the show for Crackling Chicken on the
MAY 2008 Springtime for Breeders
It is still unbelievable to me that there were
410 kids in that one compound in Texas with 12 year old girls married
to 60 year old men, it’s like a Woody Allen convention with out
the Korean girls.
Springtime in the Upper West Side of New York City is a happy
and desperate time of year. All these yuppie women are hoped up on
fertility drugs and it’s like the NFL Draft season in the neighborhood.
They are pushing their TRIPLE seated strollers down the sidewalk pushing
everyone out of the way to get to that fancy organic store called
Some of those strollers are pimped out and cost over
$2,000. That is more than my last used car I had in San Francisco.
All the parents that failed at their own hopes and dreams are putting
all their money into their babies as their last chance.
When I look
at some of these Botox faces of women pushing their strollers in
Central Park, it reminds me of high school with fancy toys and illegal
There have some Mommy cliques, Daddy cliques and nannies
cheating with the Daddies cliques. To me this is absurd that you
have two parents in the park and they bring their nanny to watch one
kid. Maybe I’m
just jealous of all the attention these kids are getting or realize
they are raising the next needy guy I will be dating.
Seeing all the kids is just a reminder that I have about 10 eggs
left that I had better freeze or have a good time with men in their
I just need to consult my Magic 8 ball to determine my destiny.
MARCH 2008 New Addiction
Haven’t been addicted to a TV show in sometime, since Dick Wolf
started up the Law & Order Sex and Psycho spin-off shows, then it
happened, I turned on TNT one day and it was a marathon day of Cold Case.
These marathons on the cable station, allow those too lazy or not interested
in DVR/Tivo to get an overload of one show. Cold Case has a damaged heroine
who is always in turmoil but solves these cases of dead people that now
seems to have solved and are filed away into the ‘Cold/Dead’ files.
Now the heroine played by Kathryn Morris always seems to have awkward
blonde hair that is pinned up and looks funky but I think that is to
keep us on our toes.
The set-up of every show is set in flashbacks with killer soundtracks.
Whatever respect I lost for Jerry Bruckheimer for making Pearl Harbor,
I have regained watching the Cold Case TV shows. Seeing the stories from
the dead people’s point of views and the Cold Case is solved at
the end of the show.
Of course, they have the single girl heroine living with like three
cats she rescued. One is missing an eye to symbolize how damaged she
is and the men she selects. That was just me projecting myself on to
the lead character.
Love that the show takes place in Philadelphia and the fact that my
home state of Pennsylvania is represented. PA is ‘real’ America
in one state. There are the wealthy area but mostly buckets of dairy/Amish
farmland, raped mining hills near Pittsburgh and some rural parts that
have a little bit of that banjo song going threw your head.
What I really like that show takes place in PA is that I recognize
some of the smaller counties and towns they talk about. When I am on
the road and lucky enough to catch, Cold Case, I do feel a little homesick
when I watch the show. However, mostly I feel calm even though it’s
about dead people.
January 2008 Dead Dad Dating Advice
My dad died over five years ago but he still comes to me in my dreams.
On the last visit, he had an unusual request.
“Susan, can give me some dating advice in heaven.” Dead Dad
“Dad, you’re in heaven. Aren’t you still married to Mom?” I
“It was cheaper for me to die than divorce your mom. Don’t
hate, Susan. Now give your Dead Dad some dating tips.” Dead Dad
“Okay. Stay away from the women clapping their hands and singing
in the choir because they’ll bring their stuff and wanna live on
your cloud. Stick with the women hanging at the gates with one foot
in heaven and one in hell. They're the good time girls” I said.
I’m sure he is with me in my waking life but doesn’t wanna
see me overeating, drinking and having sex or ‘dating’ a
variety of men.
Listen, I remember the meal I had five years
ago on May 20th at 8 PM but I don’t remember the guy’s name
I had sex with that night. That’s how much food sometimes is more
significant then the men in my life. Weather it is right or wrong, it